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The relationship trauma may have occurred when the man was a child or when he was an adult.Men who, as children, had an absent parent, a parent they lost, or a parent who abused them in any way are going to have an awfully difficult time seeking out and maintaining a healthy relationship.But here's the important part: Not all men are terrified of relationships!When it comes to the subset of men who are, what makes them different?
The debate about whether men and women are extremely similar or extremely different doesn't seem to go away, and it's largely because we have little way of proving much within the psychological arena.
Who knows, maybe one day we'll learn so much about the brain that we can definitively answer the question. Measuring fear of intimacy among men and women in a research sense is tricky, but one study (Thelen et al., 2000) attempted it and found that men scored higher on a Fear-of-Intimacy Scale.
To give some context, the media is always reporting about the different ways boys and girls are socialized, and many of us see such gender-restrictive parenting among folks within our social circles.
Because it does appear that boys and girls, at least historically, have been socialized differently, it would make sense that girls who were socialized to engage in cooperative play grow up to be women who are better at handling emotions and relationships than boys who were socialized to engage in competitive and physical play and grow up to be men who are less comfortable with vulnerability and emotional intimacy in relationships.
In other words, why are the so afraid of relationships?
Previous Relationship Trauma A man may not be able to function well in a relationship if he has extensive issues that stem from a previous relationship trauma.